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Church made me horny.  The choir moaning in unison, the F flat blaring from the organ and that damn rim shot on the drums.  It made saints two-step and gyrate blessed hips. Building up a fire in their inside parts that left them sweaty until the Holy Ghost was expelled from their loins.  

It was fucking orgasmic.  I craved it.  The breathless "hmms and haaas" from the pastor and the encouragement from the congregation... It was almost better than sex. 

I said almost... Because usually right after church I found myself engulfed in the same moans and two-steps, fornicating my way to the release the church couldn't provide.   Me and His voice became the choir and the slapping of our sweaty flesh, the rim shot. 

That was yesterday... A 100 yesterday's ago... 

 I lost God somewhere under the pastor’s sweaty chest as he exorcised demons from me with his holy dick and on the road to woke. 

 I begged this god that I devoted 30 years of my life to, to show me a sign that he was not rocking with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.  

This god, who parted seas and kept men from burning in furnaces… This god who said I was his wife, couldn't even send a damn Donkey to meet me on this road and turn me around. Not even change my name, redeem me whole. This god just watched some child starve as I slowly walked out of his fucking life, the church pointing fingers at the woman who committed adultery... Alone...

Life is a series of orgasms for me… The distance just increases. 


Somewhere on this road to woke the lust for church and sweaty John Does died.

I touched my inside parts and screamed my own name. 

The horniness I now possess is a fervent lust of self-realization

Each step led me closer to me, the creator.  I Am that I Am. 

The road I was on need not lead anywhere as long as It resurrects a hundred tomorrow's.

 ~ Nile 

"I don't know where this road is gonna lead to. All I know is where `I've` been and what `I've ` been through. If it gets me to tomorrow, I hope it's worth all the pain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday... ~G.C. Cameron

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