Church made me horny. The choir moaning in unison, the F flat blaring from the organ and that damn rim shot on the drums. It made saints two-step and gyrate blessed hips. Building up a fire in their inside parts that left them sweaty until the Holy Ghost was expelled from their loins.
It was fucking orgasmic. I craved it. The breathless "hmms and haaas" from the pastor and the encouragement from the congregation... It was almost better than sex.
I said almost... Because usually right after church I found myself engulfed in the same moans and two-steps, fornicating my way to the release the church couldn't provide. Me and His voice became the choir and the slapping of our sweaty flesh, the rim shot.
That was yesterday... A 100 yesterday's ago...
I lost God somewhere under the pastor’s sweaty chest as he exorcised demons from me with his holy dick and on the road to woke.
I begged this god that I devoted 30 years of my life to, to show me a sign that he was not rocking with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
This god, who parted seas and kept men from burning in furnaces… This god who said I was his wife, couldn't even send a damn Donkey to meet me on this road and turn me around. Not even change my name, redeem me whole. This god just watched some child starve as I slowly walked out of his fucking life, the church pointing fingers at the woman who committed adultery... Alone...
Life is a series of orgasms for me… The distance just increases.
Somewhere on this road to woke the lust for church and sweaty John Does died.
I touched my inside parts and screamed my own name.
The horniness I now possess is a fervent lust of self-realization
Each step led me closer to me, the creator. I Am that I Am.
The road I was on need not lead anywhere as long as It resurrects a hundred tomorrow's.
~ Nile
"I don't know where this road is gonna lead to. All I know is where `I've` been and what `I've ` been through. If it gets me to tomorrow, I hope it's worth all the pain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday... ~G.C. Cameron