Remy Ma & Papoose Lose To The Internet

Hip-Hop has always been a reflection of our culture: a platform for truth, storytelling, and accountability. But in the age of viral moments and social media clout chasing, we’ve also watched personal conflicts become public spectacles, where pain is monetized, private grievances become entertainment, and winning the narrative becomes more important than finding resolution. I don't have a monopoly on pain but I can personally say I know how this feels.

When someone gives out misinformation for popularity it can be an exhausting display of cowardice and hurtful on all levels.  I for one blame VH1'S "Love & HipHop" but there has never been Love on that show to be honest.

The very public breakup between Papoose and Remy Ma highlights how complicated things can become when relationship issues unfold before an audience. When personal matters become public back and fourths, we have to ask: Are we seeking genuine resolution, or have we become so consumed with validation that we mistake attention for healing?

Too many of us operate under a dangerous elixir of ego and fear. We lack the fortitude to do the shadow work, seek therapy, and honestly examine our own contributions to the conflicts we experience. We demand accountability from others while struggling to acknowledge our own shortcomings. We live in an age of pain to the highest bidder but nobody wins and it is embarrassing.

We also tell our children not to cyberbully, spread rumors, or humiliate others online etc. Yet adults sometimes engage in those same behaviors under the guise of exposing the truth. We have freedom of speech, but we rarely discuss the responsibility that comes with it. There’s a difference between accountability and humiliation, truth-telling and provocation, and seeking resolution versus performing pain for an audience.

I've discussed this before but social media rewards spectacle, and the audience plays a role, too.

We pick sides based on fragments of people's lives, turning complex relationships into entertainment and public trials. We throw digital rocks and hide our hands. But we don't know the entirety of anyone's story. 

Sometimes, the most mature response isn't another post, interview, or subliminal shot. It's the humility to step back and do the work. Before we rush to expose someone else's flaws, we should have the courage to examine our own.

Although I may sound biased after all that I've said here, I did find Papoose's diss track and response to Remy's online spectacle, "Jezebel" about Remy a reflective poetic masterpiece. I think it's funny that it is widely accepted when Taylor Swift drops tracks about love hangovers and anguish but when a brother opens up about his hurt it is met with disdain. I also addressed how men are supposed to be quiet and pretend not to be emasculated and vainly defined by our female counterparts through their gaze. It can be quite draining trying to be what someone else wants you to be so you might as well find out who you are and tell folks to get like Brand Nubian and love you or leave you alone.

The song from Papoose was reflective and it reminded me of all the trials and tribulations that I had dealt with in failed relationships. Yet I would also often blame others without looking at my flaws. I often missed the bigger picture by looking at the shallow surface and not the whole heart. I would play small even if it meant that my comfort would be put on hold just to be with someone which was dumb.

I would also often compromise my values just to be loved. I used to often put others on a pedestal instead of looking at myself and working on my own self-esteem.        See, so often we look for someone to play the villains in each other's stories, but we are all going through a human experience. Some folks can tell all of your wrongs but can never tell the right you've done and to be brutally honest, if some men are dogs some women are cats who just cover their shit. We all have things that we aren't too proud of but we definitely should be challenging ourselves to do it all better. From relationships, to healing each other, and being more graceful.

Hip-Hop taught us how to speak our truth. Now we must learn to take responsibility for how we use it  and our platforms on all levels. When the cameras stop rolling, the blogs move on, and the internet finds its next controversy, will we have actually grown or simply performed our pain for public consumption? At some point, we must decide whether we want to be right or genuinely make things righteous.   Sometimes I will admit that I am the problem, sometimes I just want to be right and have it all go my way but Sometimes, the most revolutionary act isn't calling someone else out. It's having enough humility to reel ourselves in and cool the fuck out.

-Bryan Harvest Blaque Hancock