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Ain't That Some Sh!t

He loved me. He showed it with everything thing he had. I needed nothing from him but he gave me everything I wanted. It's been six months and I was starting to let my guard down and return the emotion I thought would never return to my heart... Love.

He knew I was an Atheist. I knew he was a die hard Christian. At least on paper… Because in the fornication bed he was very much the pagan. He screamed the lord’s name in vain each time I rode him to the point of insanity and bought him back again. I was his savior until he had an orgasm. I was the alter at which he knelt.

He was quite skilled in the art of his hunger for me. He left me satisfied and wanting no other.

"Baby, I need to tell you something."

We sat in the bed after one of our epic sex sessions.

"I want to get married."

I was silent, was this a proposal or just thoughts, to feel out where my head was at? I loved him... And I figured being engaged to a man that completely satisfied me couldn't be too bad. Also at that moment I was not against traditional unions. Before I could ask him to explain. He Continued.

"I want to get married, I love you. But, there is no way I can marry someone who does not believe in God."

Whew boy, my first reaction was to call him every hypocrite in the book, but I'm a calm cool sister. So I got up and got dressed.

"Oh I see. You love me horny and riding your dick until you call my name and bow at my feet. Yet you don’t love the Horny Atheist. I'm not marriage material because you want to fake being holy in front of your God like that nigga is not omnipresent… and what is it omnipotent. He sees your ass right?

At this time I was at the door and ready to get the fuck out of there.

"Get married, find a wife... Be happy... Don't call me again in your life. I don't care if your freaky ass gets so hard your dick is going to explode. Loose my shit!"

I guess I didn't keep it too cool. But I didn't raise my voice just spoke my truth. I left him lying in the wet spot, mouth open but not allowed to speak. Fucking clown!

Two months later I found out he got married. I was like congratulations... I'm glad that shit wasn't me. I hate a hypocrite and if you have been following my blog, you would know this.

In two months he got married, eight months later I received a text.

"Baby, I made a horrible, horrible mistake. Can we please talk? I left her! There is nobody for me but you. I was stupid."

I hit his ass with a -

- "Whose this?"

- "It's Jaymes."

- "Oh, word! Listen Jaymes, I have decide I want to get married but I can never marry a man who believes in fairytales and then isn't even true to the fairytales he believes in. Beat your dick and don't call me again. I wish you exactly what you deserve. Praise baby Jesus."

Yes, petty as hell but it felt as good as heaven.


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